http://www.claire-morgan.co.uk/
Check her out.
09 July 2009
27 June 2009
All The Boys In The Halfway Houses Wave To The Girls Off Emerald Street
Here's a rhetorical question for the ages: why do people do such stupid things for love?
Being of the male persuasion, I can only attest to the stupidity over females, but I'm sure it goes both ways. Things one would normally never do become almost commonplace over love. Animals are purchased/adopted, moves across the country and around the world, nights of no sleep, etc. These are just some examples of the ludicrous actions one takes. The minor things are probably innumerable. Most every guy will tell you the only reason he shaves is for work and women (or men as the case may be). That probably goes for women as well. Think of all the ridiculous clothes we wear and rituals we go through before dates. Pretty sure there would be two outfits for dudes if love didn't matter: suit and sweatpants/t-shirt/flip-flops. The fights which break out over just some quick glances. Helen of Troy? Get my drift?
Sometimes even more extreme are the lengths one will go to keep said mate. What is usually considered unacceptable will slide. Think of all the on-again/off-again relationships out there. Or the cheaters of the world who are given a free pass. Or any number of other indiscretions allowed.
Not to get things twisted, I'm just as guilty as the next person. I can't begin to think of all the movies I've seen that I had absolutely no interest in seeing, but viewed anyway because of a girl. Hell, quite a few of the things I've mentioned above are things I do regularly. I have a glass heart tattooed on my chest for God's sake. Why do you think I'm writing this post?
I'm well aware of the scientific/animalistic basis of all this. Peacocking and the like... We are supposed to be the most intelligent species on earth, and yet we still resort to the most primal of actions. Perhaps we should return to the good ole days when you just clubbed someone on the head. Okay, that was a little misogynistic, but you get the point. Most of this probably stems from some deep desire to appease our mother/father or whatever Freud would say.
I need an ending. Blarg.
Being of the male persuasion, I can only attest to the stupidity over females, but I'm sure it goes both ways. Things one would normally never do become almost commonplace over love. Animals are purchased/adopted, moves across the country and around the world, nights of no sleep, etc. These are just some examples of the ludicrous actions one takes. The minor things are probably innumerable. Most every guy will tell you the only reason he shaves is for work and women (or men as the case may be). That probably goes for women as well. Think of all the ridiculous clothes we wear and rituals we go through before dates. Pretty sure there would be two outfits for dudes if love didn't matter: suit and sweatpants/t-shirt/flip-flops. The fights which break out over just some quick glances. Helen of Troy? Get my drift?
Sometimes even more extreme are the lengths one will go to keep said mate. What is usually considered unacceptable will slide. Think of all the on-again/off-again relationships out there. Or the cheaters of the world who are given a free pass. Or any number of other indiscretions allowed.
Not to get things twisted, I'm just as guilty as the next person. I can't begin to think of all the movies I've seen that I had absolutely no interest in seeing, but viewed anyway because of a girl. Hell, quite a few of the things I've mentioned above are things I do regularly. I have a glass heart tattooed on my chest for God's sake. Why do you think I'm writing this post?
I'm well aware of the scientific/animalistic basis of all this. Peacocking and the like... We are supposed to be the most intelligent species on earth, and yet we still resort to the most primal of actions. Perhaps we should return to the good ole days when you just clubbed someone on the head. Okay, that was a little misogynistic, but you get the point. Most of this probably stems from some deep desire to appease our mother/father or whatever Freud would say.
I need an ending. Blarg.
17 June 2009
Born and Braised
It seems as though the need/desire to blog is lost when I am *relatively* content. My need to emote electronically disappears. Relatively of course because there are aspects of my life that need altering in minor and major ways.
That being said, my short term life plan begins today. Distancing myself has brought clarity in some form and I'm embracing.
That being said, my short term life plan begins today. Distancing myself has brought clarity in some form and I'm embracing.
20 April 2009
13 March 2009
Alive or Just Breathing
Guess it is my turn to reach out to you, so here goes...
This early morn was spent contemplating and wondering. Eyes wide, staring at alabaster walls, curled up in sheets and blankets safe from chill and wet reminiscent of PacificNorthWest life. Numerous questions I simultaneously long to know and never care to hear answered race through my mind. I debated asking a few for clarity, but decided it is not prudent at this juncture.
No closer to a job discovery am I despite several leads. Teaching keeps coming to the forefront of career choices, but commitment seems daunting. Perhaps a year overseas teaching first? God only knows.
The cathartic creative outlet in the form of music with one band has become burdensome in multiple forms. I’m ready to abandon this particular group and start something I can truly be passionate about. Try my hand as frontman/singer/screamer if permitted. My lyricism needs work, but writing everyday seems to help.
Still ridiculously pitiful at meeting new people. Lack of notebook/female genitalia and distaste of coffee/tobacco may be my downfall. No work, church, or school. Love of tea and a journal for writing at a chosen daily locale may be in my future, but funds prohibit such an extravagant daily expense for now. When placed in social situations, my wallflower tendencies and awkwardness shine through. I find most people intolerable and fake. Too _____ or not _____ enough. My true downfall it seems…
Joel has a gf a block away, so I rarely see him anymore. They are actually going to the Marfa film festival in April. I wish him the best and happiness for both, but selfishly want a buddy. Like Jimmy. Like Kyle. I’ve holed up in the apartment primarily for monetary reasons, which makes me a bit of a hermit and may also be driving Joel away. IDK.
The majority of this purge and wonder stems from a future trip to Waco this Sunday for a reunion, of sorts, with pre-2005 friends and foes. I long for the time in Waco when things were so much easier/joyous/fulfilling. Checking Facebook obsessively does not deter such reflections either. Nostalgia. Senior year really was wonderful, drama and all. Perhaps that was the best year or my life? I hope not.
This comes across as a pity party with an overwhelming theme of uncertainty it seems. All written with no desire for response (and I suspect you won’t). I just feel there is no other to tell. Simply typing and sending is enough. To know someone who understands me better than the average individual will read and interpret these lines and empathize, even just a little. That you’ll maybe reach out or, at the very least, alter your mindset for a few minutes and ponder how I do.
This early morn was spent contemplating and wondering. Eyes wide, staring at alabaster walls, curled up in sheets and blankets safe from chill and wet reminiscent of PacificNorthWest life. Numerous questions I simultaneously long to know and never care to hear answered race through my mind. I debated asking a few for clarity, but decided it is not prudent at this juncture.
No closer to a job discovery am I despite several leads. Teaching keeps coming to the forefront of career choices, but commitment seems daunting. Perhaps a year overseas teaching first? God only knows.
The cathartic creative outlet in the form of music with one band has become burdensome in multiple forms. I’m ready to abandon this particular group and start something I can truly be passionate about. Try my hand as frontman/singer/screamer if permitted. My lyricism needs work, but writing everyday seems to help.
Still ridiculously pitiful at meeting new people. Lack of notebook/female genitalia and distaste of coffee/tobacco may be my downfall. No work, church, or school. Love of tea and a journal for writing at a chosen daily locale may be in my future, but funds prohibit such an extravagant daily expense for now. When placed in social situations, my wallflower tendencies and awkwardness shine through. I find most people intolerable and fake. Too _____ or not _____ enough. My true downfall it seems…
Joel has a gf a block away, so I rarely see him anymore. They are actually going to the Marfa film festival in April. I wish him the best and happiness for both, but selfishly want a buddy. Like Jimmy. Like Kyle. I’ve holed up in the apartment primarily for monetary reasons, which makes me a bit of a hermit and may also be driving Joel away. IDK.
The majority of this purge and wonder stems from a future trip to Waco this Sunday for a reunion, of sorts, with pre-2005 friends and foes. I long for the time in Waco when things were so much easier/joyous/fulfilling. Checking Facebook obsessively does not deter such reflections either. Nostalgia. Senior year really was wonderful, drama and all. Perhaps that was the best year or my life? I hope not.
This comes across as a pity party with an overwhelming theme of uncertainty it seems. All written with no desire for response (and I suspect you won’t). I just feel there is no other to tell. Simply typing and sending is enough. To know someone who understands me better than the average individual will read and interpret these lines and empathize, even just a little. That you’ll maybe reach out or, at the very least, alter your mindset for a few minutes and ponder how I do.
11 March 2009
Vacation's All I Ever Wanted
Starting in 2005, I made a resolution to take a vacation every 2 years. Preferably out of the country. 2005 was a Mexican cruise. 2007 was the Bahamas. Here it is 2009 and the economy is in the shitter, so I don't know if the vacay will happen this year. It's only March which means one quarter down, three to go. Perhaps there'll be enough of a turnaround I can venture to some other country. Even if it's just Canada.
28 February 2009
March Madness
After recovering from debauchery last night, I lazily flipped from channel to channel this early afternoon looking for something to fall asleep to. I settled on college basketball because nothing could be more sleep inducing and I only get 5 channels with my HD antenna. As I was watching this particular game I realized I know almost nothing about the sport anymore. Not a huge deal considering I only like football except that I played b-ball in middle school. I used to have enough knowledge to actually compete. Not only that, I knew teams, players, coaches and the general ins-and-outs of the game. Now I despise it.
Why is that?
Why is that?
26 February 2009
25 February 2009
Red Light
I have voids. Emptiness that can't seem to be filled. None concurrently anyway.
Heart.
Musical soul.
Career.
Friendships.
Family and health I've got. Guess 1 out of 3 isn't too bad.
Heart.
Musical soul.
Career.
Friendships.
Family and health I've got. Guess 1 out of 3 isn't too bad.
21 February 2009
They Have Always Been There
That feeling came again tonight. After our set, I watched the headliner and at one point the loneliness/helplessness/pessimism crept over me. Middle of the crowd of 75+ people seeing live music (although not my favorite kind) and I just wanted to be as far away as possible.
I longed to be alone to wallow in it.
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